Lately, due to what can only be described as a disgusting holiday sugar-and-carbohydrate binge, I’ve found myself having trouble fitting into pants, wearing my favourite t-shirts, and generally not looking and feeling like slimer of the Ghostbusters or maybe Meat Loaf circa Rocky Horror. Therefore I thought it high time to do something, anything to work my way back to at least some semblance of normal shape.
Considering it’s already mid-January, I deem the following statement not to be a new year’s resolution, but more of a challenge to myself and a step toward better health. For the next 365 days, I shall not consume a drop of the frothy, delicious, buzz-inducing, malty, hoppy goodness known as beer.
I can hear the gasps of horror and groans of disappointment for miles around. I can also hear the snickers of cynicism. Am I insane for attempting such a thing? Maybe. But I promise to you, dear reader, that during the next year, I will do everything in my power to ensure that not an ale, lager, stout or draught will touch these lips.
Now don’t get me wrong – that doesn’t mean I’m going altogether dry. What, do you think I’m crazy? No way. It just means that after a healthy amount of consideration, I have deemed that there are other ways to get a nice buzz on and keep my caloric intake to a minimum. That’s where I need your help – what’s the healthiest drink? Wine? Martinis? Tequila? God, I hope it’s not tequila. That would be awful.
Also don’t think that this idea doesn’t scare the absolute poop out of me. Beer is a big part of socializing for me. I like to have them at the pub during a rousing chat with friends, whilst watching a great live show and sometimes with a meal at home. This is going to be tough. But I’m convinced that I’m going to come out feeling better about myself.
Also, when my year is up, and I reward myself with a lovely pint, it is going to taste like the best beer I’ve ever tasted in my entire life. My plan after that is to keep beers in the mix, but to consume in moderation. We’ll see how it goes, folks.
So here we go. 2010 – a year without beer. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Oh Doug, you have my complete sympathy. After experiencing the heady taste of Wild Rose’s Brown Ale this Christmas, I doubt I will ever be a size six again. Nevertheless, I applaud your self-induced challenge, and will recommend the following alcoholic beverages, researched and tested personally by yours truly:
Red wine has 3 grams of carbohydrate per 6-oz glass compared to 13 grams of carbs for a beer. Go with the red wine, amigo
-Red wine – Suggestion: Rosemount Shiraz – tasty and under 15 bucks (red wine has antioxidants and lowers risk of heart attack)
-More red wine – Santa Rita Cabernet Sauvignon – robust taste, and 11.50 (seriously, it’s practically cheaper than a Happy Meal)
If you hate red wine:
-Gin and tonic – Refreshing and relatively lo-cal (roughly 175 calories per glass)
STAY AWAY from sugary coolers, liquors, sherries, anything sweet. These are death to the fitting of the pants.
Good luck with the non-resolution resolution!
Thanks for the tips! My guitarist told me that red wine is pretty good for you, and I love the stuff so that’s a viable option, certainly.
Doug-
I am disappointed. Our first business trip in 2010, with plenty of great things to celebrate and no BEER? To be honest I have reduced my Beer intake and have since been able to play an entire Hockey Game without feeling like I need to take Oxygen when I get home.
I agree with Susan, Red Wine is the way to go. Over Indulgence though definitely gives you the worst headaches in the morning, to the point where poking your eyes out with a spoon would seem to be the best relief.
Gin and Tonic, another deadly combination. Although I have never woken up with a headache after an evening of over indulgence on gin and tonics, the challenge here is remembering what the heck happened the night before, or even worse, where the heck you are in the morning. If it weren’t for my caring and loving wife to take me home, and tuck me snuggly tight in my own bath tub with a pillow and a ratty old blanket, I think I would still be trying to figure out where the heck I am.
Here’s to you and your Beer Free 2010. Best of luck!
BLASPHEMER!
Challenge Accepted! Tomorrow we’ll have a drink just for you on our 365 Drinks a Year at Boozeblogger. That will be drink #15 I think. Let us know what you think.
Do you have a favorite base Liquor? Are you adverse to sugar or just calories? Isn’t “Healthy Cocktail” an oxymoron?
Hey Doug, the drink we created for you is up at our website at http://www.boozeblogger.com Let us know what you think!
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